Analog to digital in 1 easy 15 steps:

As many of you have probably heard, the television world is going all digital on February 18, 2009. Television will no longer be broadcast in analog signals. Everything will be digital broadcast. For those of you that have cable TV this poses no problem. For the rest of us, this poses a problem. Come February 2009, you would no longer be able to watch TV as you do now—which in of itself may not be such a bad idea.

To help us analogs, the government is offering (up to 2) free $40 discount coupons off of the $60 purchase price of a digital TV tuner converter box. Hooking your antenna cable to the digital converter and then from the converter to your TV will allow you to watch HD TV on a regular TV.

Pretty simple I thought. Wanting to get a jump on the limited coupons I ordered mine back in the Spring. They came in the mail and I set the envelope aside. (I didn’t think that any converter boxes would be available to purchase.)

Three months later I’m having a conversation with a co-worker about the coupons. They mentioned that they were only good for 90 days. Did I know that?

I get home and search for the safe place that I had put the envelope so that I could find it when I needed it…you know, that big stack of junk mail, bank statements, and I’ll open it when I get to it pile of letters. Finally, I find it and ripped it open…as Maxwell Smart says…missed the deadline by this much!

So plan B goes into effect. Sister Megs orders two coupons for her old man.

This time when the envelope comes I jump on getting the purchase made right away. I also ordered two for my folks. I purchase theirs and decide that I’ll hook them up first.

It went smooth as silk…well the installation did…they’ve never had better TV reception in their lives. Every single channel is picture perfect. The fly in the ointment was getting my dad accustomed to working the new TV remote. There’s nothing unusual about it, except that it has two power on buttons—one for the converter box and one for the TV. The buttons on the remote control are miniature and close together. My dad’s fingers are massive. Each time he tries to zero in on one button, he pushes three at the same time. The problem is like a woman trying to put a size 9 foot into a size 7 shoe.

I had barely walked into the house when the phone was ringing. Can you please come back and fix the TV? Your dad has pushed some buttons on the remote and it doesn’t work anymore.

A few days later, I decide that it’s time to hook up my converter. No problem, right? I disconnect the antenna cable from the TiVo and put it on the converter. On the TV screen is bouncing a box that says, No TV signal found.

I fiddle around with the wires some more. Nothing. Nothing, but frustration. The only thing that was different than the hook-up for my parents was the TiVo. Great, I not only need to get a digital converter box, I’m probably going to have to upgrade my TiVo too. It’s a governmental conspiracy.

So I go to the TiVo website where after an hour of searching, I stumble upon a compatibility list: Digital converter boxes that are compatible with the TiVo. There are 50 or 60 boxes listed. Turns out that my Radio Shack digital converter is one of the two that are not compatible.

A trip back to the store to exchange it for a Zenith one that’s on the list.

Tried hooking it up again. Nothing. Now, I’m thinking that maybe it’s my antenna. Great, there’s another $80 bucks for a new antenna. (Is this story beginning to sound like the song, Liza, there’s a hole in my bucket?)

The antenna is in the attic. So, I get the ladder, get up in the attic, get insulation all over me, check the antenna, pick up the big pieces of insulation, put the ladder back, clean up the mess and—now this is the embarrassing part—get out the #$&% instruction book and read all of it.

Wow! Success! Those guys know what they’re talking about. It works! Now, I’m an analog man living in a digital world.