Secret Code

  
It all started several years ago in a Stake Conference. Our President mentioned that he has a secret code or signal with his wife. He went on to explain that since they couldn’t sit together and hold hands, then they needed some way to non-verbally communicate their affection for one another that wouldn’t be noticed by others. By holding 3 extended fingers to the side of his face, and acting as though he were resting his chin on his hand was their secret code. The 3 extended fingers (or code) at the side of the face stood for the 3 words — I love you. An audible and loud, Ahhhh pursued from the lips of every female in the audience…and a silent moan from each married male. (Well, mostly silent. There were one or two untrained ones that could't suppress their emotion. It was an instant bonding moment — man-o a man-o.) Now the pressure was on!

Immediately, I got a not-so-secret code from my spouse — a sharp elbow to the ribcage. (It meant, Are you paying attention and did you get that?) Loud and clear. Loud and clear. Well not exactly, it was more silent and painful.

So the topic after conference was, What is going to be our secret code?

I’m fine with the 3 extended finger thing.

Spoken like a man. You can’t use that. It’s their secret code and besides everybody would know what you’re doing.

Yeah, but isn’t the more important thing, the fact that I would be telling you that I love you? People or no people.

And so, we came up with our own secret code. (Obviously, I can’t reveal it or it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. And, I apologize for now putting the pressure on all you men. Hopefully, you can at least avoid the painful elbow code to the ribs.)

A side nugget for the nieces: I would strongly encourage you not to pick the standard wink as your secret code for it will save you a lot of future embarassment. Once, (before we had our secret code) I winked at my wife across the aisle at the temple. Only, she wasn't looking and someone else was. I had to change it to blinking really fast so that they would think that I had a twitch or something in my eye. But I digress…on with the tale.


I don’t get as much opportunity as I did before to use our secret code, since I now get to sit with her more often than not. And that’s okay.


The old fashioned hand-holding code to express my love works for me.

We have many other secret codes. Although, I think that some of them may be universally known and/or supported by other couples. Such as:

1. The red light - green light audible. Means you’re getting mired in the minutiae. Get on with the story.
2. The shoe to shoe tap. Lets you know it’s time to let the hometeachers be on their way.
3. The kick under the table. When she thought I had asked an inappropriate question of my soon to be son-in-law. I didn’t think it was inappropriate. It was information that she wanted to know and was afraid to ask, but she had painfully coded me for asking. I quickly grabbed her hand to code her that I still loved her.