Saying goodbye...

Conversations with a 2 year old...

See ya later alligator.
After awhile crocodile.
Not too soon you big baboon.
Never, never toilet lever.

…hey Butz, I not a lever lever. I'm a Princess!

Cheeseheads

In honor of FSIL II. Brought a smile to my face.

...wish I had said that

From the mouth of computer aficionado, cs, came this memorable quote:

I've been noticing lately that the more information I put on my computer laptop the heavier it gets.

Blast from the past

Washing up for dinner. 

Going for a ride on my horse. 

Dance little doggy. Dance for me. 

A boy's best friend.

Old Spice - BYU style

Better than a $2 tie...much much better

On Father's day I got this as a present from my kids.

Last night, cs and I went and enjoyed! It had been a long, long time since I had attended a rock concert. I must say that this crowd was extremely different than the last time. There were AARP card carriers all around. We fit right in. Everywhere you looked in the crowd of 20,000 there were geriatrics to behold...

It was fifteen minutes short of 3 hours of pure enjoyment. We were rockin' the whole time…right along with Sir Paul Macca. As much as she portends rock to be the bane of classical, cs was even singin' along.

Many thanks to my children for a great Father's day present!

PS: This experience put King Henry to shame.

OK go

Conversations with c8

c8 has gotten rather verbose…and what's more…you can actually understand what she is saying.

We were going somewhere and I told her she had to get her shoes on. She brings one shoe to me and I tell her that she needs to find the other one before we can go. She disappears for a while and comes back with the same shoe in her hand. I tell her once more that see needs to find the other shoe. Her reply, It's hard work!

Yesterday, Bird, Maddie, c8 and I visited my folks. It was time to go home. We loaded the two girls in the back of the car and as we started to drive off, I heard a voice from the backseat, More AC, please.

It's official: KS to BS

FSIL II graduated from BYU yesterday. We (Sister Megs, his parents, cs, and I) attended the ceremony at the Marriott Center. They were showing the procession of the students coming from the Administration building to the Marriott Center on the jumbotron (big screen TV). cs recognized Kodison in the throng by his height, his mother recognized him by his walk, I recognized him by the way he carried his tassle.

He happened to enter up the aisle close to us. His dad whistled to get his attention. Kody heard, recognized the signal, turned and waved. It was a great celebration for all - 6,100 graduates and 16K+ of admiring friends, family and relatives.


We're proud of you…next up — the Big "O".

D&C 18:15

I generally scan The Church News to see if I know any of the newly called church leaders from the country of Venezuela. Once in a while I will recognize a name. Sometimes, I will browse the church directory of organizations and leaders to see whether I recognize any names. Sunday, I had a name catch my eye: David Alberto Godoy Ramirez.

36 years ago my companion and I taught this young family.


Sunday, I sent this message on Facebook:

RE: Rafael Antonio Godoy & Luisa Elena Ramirez de Godoy

I saw your name in the Church directory of Leaders.

Forgive me, for my Spanish is very poor so I am writing to you in English. It has been many years since I have used Spanish fluently. I served a mission in Venezuela (1972-1974). During that time I served for 11 months in Maracaibo.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Lance D. Walker from Orem, Utah. I believe that my companion (David G. Pope, Jr.) and myself taught your parents the missionary discussions.

We baptized and confirmed them on 08 March 1974. They were a young family about our age and they had a seven month old baby boy named David. I am wondering if that is you.

Nothing on Monday, but today I received the following:

My name is David Alberto Godoy Ramirez, i live in maracaibo, my father is Rafael Antonio Godoy and my mother luisa elena ramirez duarte, i was born ago (Augusto) 4th, 1973. With tears in my eyes and answer you that the baby in the picture is me, and thanks for sending that picture. I stusied 4 years in seminary, went to a mission at age 19, got married at 22, was father at 23, since that i`ve been member of stake high council (3 years), second counselor in stake presidency(4 years) and bishop (almost 6 years and counting). My mother passed away about 15 years ago, and my father in living in utah with his wife, and my 3 brother lives there with their families. my email is xxxxxxxxx, please use it. my phone number is xxxxxxxxx, im an industrial engeener.

Thanks for writing

David Godoy

Finally!

Now, I belong.

RE: Egnorance

My response to Egnorance. (n) The egotistical combination of ignorance and arrogance.

Tacky the Penguin

This is Jacob Cloward. He is one of our "students".

He played Santa at our ward Christmas party.


Here, he displays another one of his talents.

Tabling

…this is my Exec. Sec…

Single ladies - BYU style

A. S. no more

According to an article in yesterday's newspaper…

The American Psychiatric Association is proposing major changes today to its diagnostic bible, the manual that doctors, insurers and scientists use in deciding what's officially a mental disorder and what symptoms to treat.

Don't say "mental retardation" — the new term is "intellectual disability". No more diagnoses of Asperger's syndrome — call it a mild version of autism instead.

Generation gap

Yesterday, I was telling a couple of the college students about the Neil Young Pants on the Ground parody. (See previous post.)

All I got were blank stares.

Then it dawned on me.
Do you guys know who Neil Young is? More blank stares.
Have you heard of Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young?
Nothing.
Buffalo Springfield?
I got one, I've heard of them. (This kid served his mission in San Francisco.)

Man, oh man how unAmerican is that? Never heard of good 'ol Rock 'n Roll? Another reason to hate that Rap Junk.

"Old Man"

Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.

Old man look at my life,
Twenty four
and there's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.

Love lost, such a cost,
Give me things
that don't get lost.
Like a coin that won't get tossed
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.

Lullabies, look in your eyes,
Run around the same old town.
Doesn't mean that much to me
To mean that much to you.

I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I'm all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true.

Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I'm a lot like you were.

For you "yungins" that still may not know who Neil Young is — he's the old dude that sang Long May You Run on Conan's last Tonight Show.

Pants on the Ground

Let me say up front that I'm not a regular fan of American Idol, but I do confess to viewing it from time to time. It provides some interesting "entertainment" to say the least. The auditions are the part that I prefer watching. Who can forget William Hung's audition of a few years back? It vaulted him to immediate 15 minutes of international fame.



This year's oddity/celebrity appears to be General Larry Platt. I must confess that I missed seeing his rendition on TV. However, I started seeing several references to Pants on the Ground on Facebook. So I did some investigation as to what all the hub bub was all about.



Didn't do much for me, either.

Image my surprise when I heard Jimmy Fallon's lyrical masterpiece. (Amazing what a touch of harmonica & Neil Young can do to make a song palatable.) Now, the lyrics may not be superb, but this has got to be the best Neil Young imitation ever!

Over or under?

I saw a poll on TV today asking for your vote as to whether you were an “over” or “under” type person when it came to how you installed/preferred your toilet paper on the dispenser. “Over” meaning that the paper dispenses from the top of the roll as you pull it off and “under” meaning that the paper dispenses from the back or bottom of the roll.

I suppose this type of question – in one form or another – has always been a topic of discussion. A century ago the controversy in the outhouse may have been, Should you tear the pages from the front or from the back of the Sears catalog for proper etiquette?

My college roommate was the one that corrected me in the error of my ways. He assured me that all of the sophisticated hotels put the roll on the dispenser so that the paper would dispense from the “top”.

So, to keep peace in the apartment, that’s how we did it.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. In my carefree bachelor days — when I really didn’t know there was a difference or that it really mattered how the roll of toilet paper was dispensed — I wasn’t occupied with presentation, but more concerned with the end results (no pun intended).

Boys night (afternoon) out

Tuesday afternoon, FSIL, FSIL II, and I went and saw Avatar in 3D.

It was 162 minutes of pure fantasy. The 3D graphics were incredible and the various animals believeable. The storyline is along the lines of FernGully for adults and it has a "save our resources and tree-hugger" feel to it…but I still highly recommend it. It definitely is not a chick flick so you might want to consider who you invite to go with you.

The next two nights I was dreaming that I was flying on my Navi throughout the skies of Pandora.

Consternation

I've revealed what c8's name is for Grandpa. Well, yesterday she started using a familiar one for cs. She called her, Toots, which is FSIL's name for cs.

…hmmmm, which makes me wonder…if c8 has heard that name from FSIL for cs, what name has she been hearing from him for Grandpa?

Term of endearment?

c8 refers to Janny as Domie. None of us can figure where that comes from. She calls cs, Am-ma.

As for me, I have been referred to anything from Da-Da, Mama, and Am-ma. I have to remind her that I an not any of those people.

Once in a while she'll call me, Lance. But now she has settled on the ultimate. She calls me, Butz.

Tonight when her mother called and said, Cate do you want to talk to Grandpa? She responded emphatically, No Butz!

Sounds to me that c8 has been listening to her Grandma too much.

Does he or doesn't he?

Dad, did you dye your hair?

Why?

It doesn't look like it has as much gray in it as it used to.


…only his hairdresser knows for sure.

…with apologies to my siblings…

Chasing my demons

Prospero:
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
The Tempest Act 4, scene 1, 148–158

Last night, I was dreaming that cs and I were in the car starting to make-out (remember that I did mention that I was dreaming) when suddenly a guy reached in from the back window and starting pulling me out. I was struggling to get away and trying to yell for help.

It was one of those instances where my vocal chords were frozen and no sound was coming out. I was yelling and yelling for help. (I'm sure that you've all had different variations of this theme…trying to run away to get help or out of danger, but your legs feel like they are in cement and won’t move or you scream and scream and yet no sound will emit. Going to school, church, work, etc. in nothing but your underwear…whoops, wrong analogy.)

Panic started to set in and there I was struggling for my life when it happened…I mustered up all of my forces and yelled out at the top of my lungs…and the sound came out! The scream woke me up from my dream at 3:25 a.m. I looked over to see if it startled cs when I yelled out — nope, not a stir — she was in her REM zone – still fantasizing. I went back to sleep.

When I woke up, I found a fresh fingernail scrape on the inside of my right elbow. How did that get there?


As I start to relate my night of terror to cs. Her response, Just tell me…this making out part, were we old or were we young?

I took one for humanity

Ignorance is bliss. I'll be the first to admit that I am lacking somewhat in certain areas of cultural refinement and knowledge. I did take Humanities 101 in college and we read Julius Cæsar and Romeo & Juliet in 10th grade English class, but other than that my exposure to Shakespeare has been zilch, nada, a big fat zero.

I'll admit I've used, upon occasion, a few casual Shakespearean catch phrases once or twice (and whom amongst us hasn't?): Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Beware the Ides of March…and my personal favorite…Eh tu, Brut?

But I have never, never been exposed to King Henry V. I'm very familiar with Henry the VIII by way of Herman's Hermits. They sang about him in the sixties.

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

Second verse same as the first

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am

H-E-N-R-Y
Henry (Henry)
Henry (Henry)
Henry the eighth I am, I am
Henry the eighth I am

Yeah

Back to the tale. cs' birthday was yesterday so I conceded to go to Cedar City and view a play — King Henry the V.

cs: You'll like it. It's about war and stuff.

ld: Okay. If it'll make you happy. It's your birthday.

We go down a day early and spend some time in St George shopping and then head to the play. It starts at 8:00 p.m. cs is so excited that we get there at 7:15, but that's okay because they have troubadours and minstrels (that's the Shakespearean way of saying: Thespians) performing on a stage to entertain the crowd before the doors open up.

We get in our seats. It's an outdoor theater reminiscent of The Globe theater. We're seating on the lower level in the second to the last row — not bad seats. If it starts to rain, we've got the roof over our heads.

The play starts. cs is elated. For the first hour this is what I hear: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Whoa, what is going on here? I quickly grab the program and read the synopsis of the play. Now I have an idea of what it is about. Then my English ear gets attuned and this is what I hear throughout the soliloquies: Blah, blah, Harry, blah, blah, war, blah. I must confess that I had more understanding of what was going on during the scene between the French princess and her handmaiden…and most of that was in French.

After 90 minutes, they have an intermission. I lean over to cs and ask, Just exactly how long is this play?

cs: 3 hours

Needless to say, I've got enough Henry the V to last me a lifetime.

But cs was and is elated and if she's happy, then that makes me happy.

I told cs that next year we're going to bring Megs, FSIL II, Bird & FSIL I. At halftime, I'm going to ask FSIL I & FSIL II, Who's for heading back to the hotel and turning on ESPN?

Better than the Hampton

A few years back, cs and I went to Cedar City to see a play and stayed at the Hampton Inn. It was the best mattress I have ever slept on. I was out like a light in spite of all the high school thespians running up and down the halls celebrating their Thesbianfest — but that's another story for another time.

Many times since I have thought, Why didn't I pull back the sheets and look and see what brand/type of mattress it was.

Each time we have passed through Cedar City, I have told cs that we need to stop at the Hampton and inquire about their mattresses.

Well, thanks to Woot.com I have remedied the situation. I am now the proud owner of a Sarah Peyton Queen Size Memory Foam Mattress. When I got home from work, there was a large rolled up package in a tarp on my porch leaning on the door frame. It looked like a large over-sized rolled up sleeping bag.

I got cs to help me pull the old spring mattress off of the bed and then I lugged the "sleeping bag" onto the bed frame. cs wanted to know how in the world do you think this is going to fill your bed? Women have no sense of "spatial reasoning".

It reminded me of a time early in our marriage. We had a waterbed mattress. We were getting ready to move. cs wanted to know if I needed her to get her brothers to help move the water mattress.

ld: What do you mean?

cs: Well, how are you going to get it out of here? Don't you need help to carry it down the stairs? Or are you going to open the window, take out the screen, and throw it out?

ld: Well, first, I think that I'll get a garden hose, hook it up to the mattress, drain all of the water out, unhook the hose, and fold up the mattress. Do you think they can handle it that way or would it be easier to carry if I put it in a box? (Needless to say, I was sleeping in the dog house for awhile, instead of on a mattress.)

Back to my memory foam mattress.

I carefully cut the wrapping off and voilà! There it was: the mattress filling the bed. The instructions state that it will take up to 72 hours for the whole rising thing to finish.

72 hours or not, I can already tell this is going to be better than the Hampton — perfection.

One small step

Walter Cronkite died a couple of days ago and tomorrow we celebrate man's walk on the moon. I mention these two things because 40 years years ago — July 20, 1969 @ 2:18 a.m. (to be exact) my eyes were glued to our old black and white TV as I watched and listened to Walter Cronkite tell us that the first man was about to walk on the moon.

You can view (not Michael Jackson's) but the ORIGINAL moonwalk from NASA here. The reception is about as good as it was on our old black & white.

I remember ol' Walter shedding a tear or two as he reported on the occurrence.



I was pretty excited myself. I remember thinking that early morning, Someday, I'm going to be able to tell my kids that I watched the first man walk on the moon.

Rock 'n Roll

For you children of the '60's that may have missed it, July 15th, Sir Macca performed on the marquee of the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York for the David Letterman show.

I was there too…just not at the same time…and not on top of the marquee.

Hip Ol' Man

Every once in a while whilst in conversation with my progeny I suddenly get an incredulous look that silently says, How did you know that? You're so, so…old.

I told Sister Megs that I heard a song a while back on Letterman that I can't get out of my head.

Megs: Who's it by and what's it called?

ld: I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas.

Then came the LOOK.

Hey, I'm hip. Unlike their mother who doesn't know Snoop Dogg from MC Hammer…I know my Singin' legumes.

Where's the $3 bill?

As I mentioned in my previous post, on our way to Moab for the river raft trip we stopped in Price at a Mexican restaurant for a bite to eat. Near the cash register, they had this cool poster hanging on the wall. Needless to say, it immediately caught my eye.

I've been doing google searches ever since trying to find it: US paper money poster, US dollar bill denominations poster, etc. Nothing. Finally, found it under US currency poster.

It lists/shows the U.S. bills:

$100,000-Woodrow Wilson-28th President-(1856-1924)
10,000-Salmon Portland Chase-Jurist & Statesman-(1808-1873)
5,000-James Madison-4th President-(1751-1836)
1,000-S. Grover Cleveland-22nd & 24th President-(1837-1908)
500-William McKinley-25th President-(1843-1901)
100-Benjamin Franklin-Author,Scientist,Inventor-(1706-1790)
50-Ulysses Simpson Grant-18th President-(1822-1885)
20-Andrew Jackson-7th President-(1767-1845)
10-Alexander Hamilton-Jurist & Statesman-(1755-1804)
5-Abraham Lincoln-16th President-(1809-1865)
2-Thomas Jefferson-3rd President-(1743-1826)
1-George Washington-1st President-(1732-1799)

The $100 is the largest denomination note printed today. The $10,000, $5,000, $1,000, & $500 notes were last printed in 1945, but taken out of circulation in 1969 for lack of use. The $100,000 note was never released to the public. It was used for inter-bank transfers only, between Federal Reserve Bank District Offices.

Here it is.


Strange…I don't see the $3 bill that Creed pulled out of his wallet to give Jim to help out with the Office party fund.